Some of my friends have asked me why there really isn’t much of me on the site and honestly it was done intentionally as I’m not an attention monger and don’t like being in the spotlight. I’m an introvert by nature and shy to boot, but social media and my writing allows me to express myself in ways I hadn’t been able to in the past. I’m truly grateful for having an outlet to be creative and speak to people from all parts of the world. Since so many of you share with me, I’d like to do the same. So here we are, for better or for worse, my own Wanderwoman diary feature.

Name

Abigail Rogado

Originally From

US

Current Country

US

How many countries have you lived in?

I’ve only formally lived in two countries, France, for the past few years and the US.

How many countries have you visited?

I’ve been to 33 countries so far and hoping to get back to traveling once there is a vaccine and bans are lifted.

What brought you to Paris?

Honestly I moved to Paris on a whim. I had a weekend trip planned to Paris for my birthday the year I left my corporate job. I ended up extending it since I no longer had to be in a physical place every morning. I bought a new ticket with a return date of 6 weeks not knowing where my travels would lead. But when my taxi entered Paris, I knew I wasn’t going to split my time in other countries and said to myself “You know what — I’m NOT having a plan for once in my life. I’m going to stay here and see what happens.”

The six weeks I spent in Paris were life changing. I was working remotely for American clients but I had a more relaxed state of existence. I learned to appreciate things more, to be bolder, to be more patient and more accepting of others. I took time to breathe and appreciate what was around me, which I never did in NY because I was always typing while I was walking in 4-inch heels no less! I became more present — I never took my phone out of my bag unless it was to call an UBER, I actually had real conversations with people, I spent less time on social media and I stopped watching TV. I had become a more relaxed person and valued my time and others more.

I did come back to NYC after the 6 weeks, but always felt that Paris was calling me back. Long story short, less than a year later, I gave up my apartment, put everything in storage and bought a ticket to Paris. It was supposed to be a three month experiment, but it turned to 3+ years.

What brought you to you back to the US?

Well, basically, covid brought me back here. I was supposed to be back in Paris this past March, but when the world started going crazy with the spread of covid-19, I postponed my return because I didn’t want to be stuck in Paris indefinitely. I know healthcare is more expensive in the US, but I felt safer here in case I got sick because I am not a French Citizen, nor am I super fluent in French. It turns out to have been the right decision because Trump closed the borders two days later.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate being back; it was just unexpected like the rest of this year. NYC is my home and a lot of my friends and family are here. Despite what a shitshow it has been with everything going on in America, there is nowhere I would rather be to ride this thing out.

What do you find most challenging about being back in your home country?

Think the most challenging thing about being back is our new normal and not experiencing the city the way we used to. I, for one, find NYC dangerous right now. I mean, crime always happened here and I’m not going to deny that. The one difference is that there are less people on the street so there is no one who can help you in the event you do get attacked. In that sense, NYC is a ghost town despite what people will tell you. There are more mentally unstable people living on the streets than I have ever seen during my lifetime here and it is heartbreaking that not much is being done to help by the state and local governments. I think they could be doing a better job in taking care of its’ citizens and making basic items one needs to live affordable. That is one thing I noticed living in France, that the basic items one would need to live were accessible for the most part.

Another challenging part of being back was being here during the year of a presidential election. I was lucky enough to have spent the past four years abroad when the country was regressing, but returned to a nation divided. I have lived here most of my life and have never seen a country so at odds with itself. I hope that everyone living here will be able to see past their differences and start to truly connect again.

What country would you like to live in or visit next?

ANYWHERE! I don’t think I have been this stationary since I was in the womb!

In all seriousness, I definitely want to go back to Asia and visit cities and countries I was not able to yet. I was fortunate enough to spend two months there before lockdown started and it was wonderland for me—the culture, the food, the lifestyle and how much it differs from Western culture.

I visited three different countries and they all hold a special place in my heart. The Philippines was a family trip so it was great to relax and reconnect with my family’s homeland, and see it for the first time as an adult—the last time I was there I was only 11! Japan was definitely a treat and it was great to see the mix of old and new world, especially in Kyoto. And Korea, was my favorite solo trip so far. Exploring all the markets, especially the food and beauty markets was a dream come true. It also made me realize how overpriced everything is in NY! And despite what people report these days, Asian countries are MUCH, MUCH, cleaner than their western counterparts. And after that trip, I will only fly Asian airlines when that is an option for me.

In regards to living somewhere, I think next for me would either be Switzerland (Zurich) or the UK (London). I’ve only been to Zurich once, but fell in love with it immediately. The water is so blue, the air is so clean and it is a true city, plus it is safe—I think we’ve established I am a city girl. Also, the men are definitely my cup of tea, so that is a plus most other countries don’t have!

As for London, that would be much easier for me, since I do speak the language and I was already considering moving there before covid happened. Though I rather stay close to family right now, I will definitely revisit those two places once this is all over and I feel the time is right.

What was your favorite part about living in France?

So hard to pick just one! Paris is one of the most picturesque and beautiful cities I have ever been to. I would walk outside my door and no matter which direction I went I felt like I was living in a painting, and most days, I was.

I would have to say one of my favorite parts about living in France was the travel. It was a great center for getting to explore different parts of Europe. I loved that I could be in another country in under an hour, when here I would only be in another state. I took a lot of advantage of exploring different countries in Europe and different cities in France. Despite what all the books and movies would like you to believe, Paris isn’t the center of the world—France has such a diverse set of cities and islands that are definitely worth exploring. I highly suggest visiting different parts of France when travel starts up again. It is truly fascinating to see the cultural differences by city, especially the North and the South, or sometimes just one arrondissement to another.

The one thing that was constant in all of France was the food and the wine! It is nearly impossible to get bad wine or cheese there. I really miss walking through the streets and shopping the fresh food markets, checking out cheeses at different fromageries and then jaunting of to vineyard visits in Bourgogne and Bordeaux—it really was a dream come true!

What was your least favorite part about living in France?

Honestly, for me, it was the attitude and the negativity. I felt everything had to be done the French way—some of it was good, some of it was archaic. If you have ever lived in France, you know what I mean…the staple “because that’s the way it is.” As someone who was born and raised in New York and spent most of my adult life here, I'm not a person who conforms to all of societies niceties or accept the status quo, so Paris was a little challenging and a huge culture shock after I got over the honeymoon period.

When I first moved, I did try to adjust to the “French way” and it was making me feel like I was losing a part of myself, which made me very unhappy and I almost returned to the US (most of my close friends don’t know this). Then one day I had an A-HA moment and realized that I DIDN'T HAVE TO CONFORM. Just because they had their way of doing things, didn’t mean it had to be “MY WAY”. This shift in thinking and doing ultimately made me happier and I enjoyed living in Paris much more. It became the city I fell in love with again.

One thing I missed from back home was the NYC energy—there is nothing like it in the world IMHO. My plan for this year was to spend half of my time in Paris and half my time in NYC because living full time in Paris was draining for me because of the negativity and the lack of sun during the winter. As cold as it gets here, there is always sun. Last winter in Paris was hard for me—we went for almost two months without sunlight and I was about ready to lose it. I honestly think I almost did as my mood is highly affected by sunlight, or lack thereof. This was going to be my first year trying the bi-country thing but looks like 2020 had other plans!

What inspires you?

I’m inspired by people’s stories. Everyone has something special to share and believe there is always a life lesson you can learn from anyone you meet.

What fuels your wanderlust?

Getting lost.

I love discovering new places and cultures by just wandering having no agenda at all—that is honestly why I solo travel a lot. I hate being on someone else’s schedule. When I do travel with other people, I make sure that they are not too hyper or we will not get along, nor probably speak to each other again.

I tend to go to places recommended by fellow travelers vs top 10 sites or tourist traps. I usually spend the first day (or few days depending on how much time I have in a city) just wandering aimlessly and seeing where the day takes me. I like experiencing life as a local and will even learn a few words of a language to see how far I can get. I always try the local cuisine and trying new things I haven’t had before—except insects!

And of course, the fashion! Fashion has been a huge part of my life and it is art to me, so no matter where I go I make a point to understand and explore the local fashion. I always try to take a piece home that goes with my style and think I own something from each country I have visited.

What advice would you give to other expats or travelers?

Be open to all the possibilities and not to let negative situations get you down. I think being true to yourself and not losing yourself is a big part of enjoying and thriving in a new country. The way we frame our mind, shapes our perceptions of the world (aka our reality), so if something is not working for you, flip the script and make it work for you. As cliche as it sounds, life is really mind over matter.

Don’t want to bore people on this topic as I could write a novel on it! If you want to read more, you can go here and here :) I’m sure I wrote more in various places because I always kept adapting and evolving during my expat journey, but the one thing to always remember is that you are stronger than you think you are—don’t let anyone or any situation try to convince you otherwise. Never forget who you are and where you came from. Think of it this way—If you have the guts to move and live in another country, you have more guts than most people in this world. Believe me.

How has the Covid-19 pandemic affected your life?

I was personally affected by the pandemic as my father passed away from covid-19, or at least that is what was cited as the main cause of death. It was hard for me and my family to lose him, especially during this time since we couldn’t go with him to the hospital or be with him. It breaks my heart to this day that he had to die alone and none of us could be with him or say goodbye. His passing made me realize to appreciate every single moment, as small as you think it is and to love fiercely—there are no do overs. I cherish each moment i have with my friends and family now moreso than ever.

How do you feel your country is handling the pandemic? Do you feel safe?

Sadly, it depends on what state you live in here. Think NYC is handling it well—we all wear masks, we practice save behavior and social distancing. Other parts of the country think it’s a hoax and carrying on business as usual, so I am grateful I don’t live in those places.

I do feel safe, but I also feel like we are becoming a little lax. NYC is doing a good job, fort the most part, but this isn’t over yet.

Based on current travel restrictions are you happy to be where you are or do you wish you were somewhere else?

I am happy to be in the US despite of everything going on here. I am grateful I was here when my father passed and not sure if I would have been able to get back had I been living abroad. With everything going on right now, I am happy to be close to my family.

What are your thoughts on travel right now? When do you plan on traveling? And what are your new guidelines/precautions?

I am more conservative than most. I do not plan on getting on a plane again until there is a vaccine available and most of the population is vaccinated. I know it is extreme, but there is no need for me to travel internationally right now—most countries are in some sort of lockdown and it wouldn’t be worth it to me. Don’t get me wrong, I still travel, but only by car and with trusted people I know. I have embraced the road trip and this whole experience has made me want to get my license. I finally understand why driving is considered a life necessity!

What is your new normal?

My new normal is trying to enjoy my life by not doing anything to endanger myself and others. I do 90% of my shopping online and only go to a physical store when necessary or on vacation. I continue to remain vigilant and only see people I trust and have similar policies about covid. I see my family more now that I’m back in NYC and truly appreciate our time together, especially QT time with my dog and niece!

When I want to be social and have some normalcy, I do outdoor dining. I always wear a mask, don’t engage in high risk behavior and sanitize my hands so much I feel like they are going to fall off! I’ve also become a peloton addict in order to stay sane and active—I literally do something on their app each day. And even though I have been WFH for a few years, quarantine life is different because you are not partaking in your usual everyday activities or socializing the way you used to—there is really a mental strain because there is a difference between not wanting to see people vs not being able to see other people. Cannot wait till the day when it is safe to see everyone I care about again and give them a big hug!

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My Diary: From NYC to Paris and Back